Fly the Unfriendly Skies
by leftrightbrain
Summary: Sebastian's being a rude, spoiled first-class passenger, and Kurt has the dubious honor of being his flight attendant. When Sebastian finds that Kurt gives back just as much attitude as he gets, he makes it his mission to get Kurt into bed. Or into the tiny, airplane bathroom. GKM fill.


"Sir, would you like something to drink?"

Sebastian pulled his headphones off and glanced up, sucking in a quick breath as he looked into cool blue-green eyes, framed by an elegant swoop of chestnut hair. The man had on a blue and gray flight attendant's uniform, and he wore the standard-issue scarf knotted jauntily to the side, setting off his long, elegant neck. His face was held tight in a forced imitation of a warm smile.

"Something to drink, sir?" The smile had diminished, and the tone was stiff. It seemed that the man was accustomed to being checked out by customers. But that wouldn't pose a problem. Sebastian wasn't just any customer, and he knew it, even if the flight attendant had yet to discover the fact.

Sebastian smiled back, having settled on his plan of attack. "It's about time. What kind of scotch do you carry?"

The other man just barely rolled his eyes at the question. "You have your choice of a blend or single-malt. It's all listed on the in-flight information pamphlet."

Sebastian tilted up his chin, pleased at the feisty attitude on display but determined not to show it. "That doesn't exactly tell me a lot. Dewars? Macallan? Glenfiddich? Johnnie? Or, god forbid, something fucking decent?"

The flight attendant snatched the pamphlet out from the seat back in front of Sebastian, opened it to the food and beverage page and stuck it into his hands with an exaggerated wave. "Take your time choosing from our hand-selectment assortment of the finest liquors from around the world. I'll be back," he huffed, pushing his cart down the aisle.

Sebastian closed and put away the pamphlet without looking, his eyes trained on the man's swaying ass as it retreated.

The moment he ducked out of view, Sebastian pushed the flight attendant call button.

"May I help you, sir?" A petite blonde girl asked, leaning over the armrest unnecessarily close to Sebastian. She beamed unnaturally white teeth at him, smiling so wide it had to hurt.

"Not, you, the other one." Sebastian snapped, peering back up the aisle.

The blonde's eyes dimmed, she pursed her lips tightly, and reached out a wicked-looking pink fingernail to snap off the call sign. "If you don't need anything, please don't push the button."

Sebastian glared up at her and activated the button again. "I absolutely do need something. Just not from you. Go away, now." He smiled once again after speaking, shooing her away with a wave of his hands.

The girl squeaked, and turned the button off again wordlessly.

Sebastian sighed and pushed it once more. "I'm just going to keep doing this until I get what I want. Don't you have something you could be doing for the peasants in coach?"

The girl's face contorted in rage, but she elected not to push a confrontation. Instead, she hurried away down the aisle, just ahead of Kurt, who watched with interest at her departure. Shaking it off, he turned to Sebastian and smiled stiffly again. "I take it you've decided?" he asked, turning off the call button.

"Yes... Kurt," Sebastian said, seeking out the flight attendant's name tag. "...the single-malt, please. Ice, and two cups. Separately, I'll pour."

Kurt lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow and walked away, returning swiftly with two stacked plastic cups with ice, and a tiny bottle. "That will be $7.50, sir."

"You've got to be kidding me. Isn't this first class? That shit should be included. Especially given the atrocious selection. I'm not impressed with your airline so far." Sebastian's lips curled at the edges as he awaited Kurt's reaction.

Kurt stood bolt upright at the insult, snapping his hands to his hips and looking coolly down at the passenger. "That was clearly printed in the pamphlet as well, if you'd bothered to read it. Don't you know we're in a recession? None of the airlines offer free booze anymore."

Sebastian chuckled. The way Kurt was posed, he could literally have a stick up his ass. Sebastian longed to remove it for him. "None of the airlines I fly... or will fly again," he snorted.

"You must not fly first class much, then. I suppose coach was overbooked and you were comped. Don't worry, now you'll know better for the next time you get bumped up to first. Now, will that be cash, or charge?"

Sebastian bit his lip gleefully and handed over his credit card between two long fingers. "American Express is acceptable, I trust?"

Kurt's eyes bugged out as he saw the sleek, black card. He spun away to run it through the machine, his sassy remarks failing him.

Sebastian took the slip and signed it, adding his phone number at the top. Kurt folded the slip, rolling his eyes in earnest this time, and handed back the card and his receipt. "If you need anything else, sir, please hesitate to ask," he snapped, bolting back to the front of the plane.

00000000000000000000

"Time for dinner. Here's our menu. Please, actually read it this time," Kurt said with a cloying smile, handing a piece of white cardstock to Sebastian.

"No need," Sebastian said, waving the menu away. "Bring me whatever the steak option is. I'm hoping for something edible but," his eyes roamed the cabin with distaste, "...beggars can't be choosers."

"Very well, I'm quite sure it will be delicious. Whether you choose to appreciate that or not is up to you. I have a feeling you don't appreciate much in your life," Kurt snipped before stalking away.

Sebastian leered, openly, this time, as Kurt walked down the aisle. Perhaps he didn't appreciate much on this hell-hole of a plane, but there was one thing that suited his appetites perfectly.

Fifteen minutes passed before Kurt began to make his way down the aisle, pushing the cart laden with food. Sebastian filled the time fantasizing. Perhaps the distraction of the dinner service was exactly what he needed to take things to the next level, since giving Kurt his number clearly hadn't helped move things along.

Sebastian stared blatantly as Kurt leaned down to smooth a crisp, white napkin across the tray table, then set out an immaculately arranged tray with a plate of food, a glass, silverware, and real miniature salt and pepper shakers. "Not that you asked, but it's filet mignon with whiskey pepper sauce, microgreens and new potatoes. Dessert is blackberry cobbler. Don't worry, I'll be right back to get your drink order and nod politely at your irrational bitching."

Sebastian's response died on his lips as Kurt whisked away, ignoring him steadfastly.

By the time Kurt returned, Sebastian was ready for him. "You complain about me, but you keep coming back. I think you like what you see," he smirked, leaning his chin on one fist, propped up on the armrest.

"No, it's just that you seem to have scared off my poor co-worker somehow, and I can't get her to actually do her damned job now. At least not in this section. Happy?" Kurt snapped.

"Very." Sebastian chirped.

Kurt sighed in irritation. "So, what will it be? Water? More alcohol? If I bring you booze, will you eventually get mellow?"

"I'll have another round if you'll have one with me," Sebastian purred.

"Pity, I'm not allowed to drink on the job," Kurt replied. "Another scotch? And ice and two glasses, because apparently nobody on the planet can pour a scotch on the rocks quite as perfectly as you can?"

"How about when we land, then? Honestly, won't you need one after this flight? I know I will." Sebastian's green eyes twinkled up at the other man, who almost smiled in response but quickly caught himself.

"Water it is, then." Kurt said, once again indulging in his annoying habit of darting away before Sebastian could get in the last word.

When Kurt returned with the pitcher of water, he avoided Sebastian's gaze, snatching up the goblet to fill it. Sebastian placed a hand on Kurt's wrist, stopping him from pulling back. "You have to quit running off like that. As much as I appreciate the view, one of these days I'm going to chase after you," he said.

Kurt's eyes went wide, and he set down the goblet on the tray. "I have other customers, excuse me" he said cooly, turning away. But Sebastian could have sworn that this time he walked more slowly, more deliberately, and with more of a sway to his behind.

After a few minutes had gone by and the rest of the section had started on their meals, Sebastian quietly left his seat, closing the curtain as he exited first class. Sure enough, he found Kurt up in the kitchen area, putting away items from the dinner service. Unable to hear Sebastian's approach over the noise of the plane, Kurt busied himself about his work, happily unaware until Sebastian was close enough to tap him lightly on the shoulder.

Kurt whirled around. His eyes went wide as he was suddenly face to face with Sebastian in the cramped space. "Um... did you decide on something after all?" he squeaked, blushing slightly.

"I did," Sebastian grinned, reaching out with his left hand to brush a strand of hair back from Kurt's face.

Kurt pressed his eyes shut and wet his lips, an action that did not go unnoticed by Sebastian, who took a step forward to crowd him further into the kitchenette. "Another scotch? I'll comp this one for you... just head back to your seat and I'll bring it to you."

"I didn't want a drink... unless you care to join me, as I asked before?" Sebastian purred, leaning closer until he was practically whispering in Kurt's ear.

"Um, sir, I..." Kurt stammered.

"Sebastian."

"OK, Sebastian, I seriously can't drink on the job. I would get in trouble." Kurt took a deep breath and squared his shoulders in resolve.

"No one will see. Don't you have some downtime until after dinner?" By now Sebastian really was whispering in Kurt's ear, one hand moving to rest at his waist.

"You should go back to your seat, Sebastian," Kurt said firmly.

"I could... but that's not what you really want, is it?" Sebastian asked, cupping Kurt's neck in his left hand and bringing them face to face. He could see Kurt's will crumbling behind proud eyes, even before he finished the question.

Kurt answered him with a fierce kiss, their lips colliding roughly as he threw his arms around Sebastian's neck.

Sebastian hummed in delight at the sudden attack on his lips, pressing back with every ounce of the frustration he'd been feeling throughout the flight. He thrust his hips against Kurt's body, making the man gasp into his mouth, and Sebastian took advantage of the sudden opening to dive his tongue inside Kurt's mouth.

Kurt was an excellent kisser, Sebastian discovered, and surprisingly aggressive. Within minutes he had reclaimed the kiss and was sucking hard on Sebastian's tongue, making him moan despite himself. Sebastian reached down to Kurt's ass, grabbing both cheeks and hitching him up until Kurt's legs were wrapped around his waist and they were braced against the kitchen counter, sending trays clattering to the floor. Kurt squeaked at the mess, but made no move to stop what was happening.

Sebastian started up a rhythm, grinding against Kurt and nipping at his neck, working around the delicate skin until he found the spot that made Kurt moan the loudest. He sucked hard on that spot, creating the beginnings of a hickey. Kurt's arm's flew around his shoulders and he held on for dear life, his loud panting shifting into wails at the relentless sensation.

Finally, when the wails turned into gasps of "please, please, please," Sebastian pulled away from Kurt's neck and got down onto his knees, undoing Kurt's belt and zipper to expose his hard, leaking erection. "Shhh, be quiet," he scolded, winking at Kurt from the floor, before sinking his mouth down onto Kurt's cock.

Kurt bit his knuckle to keep from screaming at the wonderful, wet heat and the relief of finally having direct stimulation. His legs started to shake, and he put out both hands to grip the kitchenette counter, knocking down another stack of trays but so far beyond caring about it.

Sebastian was about to relax his throat and take Kurt deeper, when a sudden jolt shook them both. He quickly pulled off of Kurt's cock, grabbed him by the hips and helped him to the floor. An alert sounded, and Kurt hurriedly zipped up and picked up the public address microphone.

"The captain has turned on the fasten seat-belt sign, as we have encountered some turbulence. Please stay seated for the duration, and we will come by for your dinner trays once we're past this rough patch."

Kurt hung up the microphone, then pounced on Sebastian again, gasping out an explanation between kisses. "This will... keep them... mmph... busy... captain... would tell us... unf... if it got really bad. Ahhh!" Kurt wailed again as Sebastian's tongue lashed against his ear, but he regained his senses long enough to start backing them towards the restroom.

Sebastian got the hint, crab-walking them the rest of the way without removing his tongue from Kurt's ear. Once inside, he slammed the door and locked it, activating the "occupied" light on the outside. He lifted Kurt up onto the sink, and pulled his still-hard cock back out, diving back onto it immediately.

Kurt gasped, cradling Sebastian's face and tugging him back gently. "We don't have to be in quite such a hurry, now" he said softly.

Sebastian grinned and leaned up against Kurt, pressing him to the mirror with a kiss. "I don't know, it sounds like you're fucking desperate for it." He nipped at Kurt's lip, tugging it between his teeth, then bent down to pull Kurt's pants and underwear all of the way off.

"I am," Kurt whined, "I just don't want to come yet. You're way too good with your mouth."

"You shouldn't have been such a bitch to me before," Sebastian said, before running his tongue up Kurt's neck. "I could have made you come three times already if you hadn't been such a priss about it."

"You sound awfully sure of yourself," Kurt said, digging his fingers into Sebastian's shoulders as he found the hickey and started working on it once more.

"I am," Sebastian said, lifting his mouth briefly to speak. "And that's exactly why you're in here being taken apart by my tongue."

"You cocky little..." Kurt muttered.

"Not little," Sebastian countered.

"Prove it," Kurt said. "Show me."

Sebastian chuckled and undid his belt, dropping his pants and underwear to his knees in a practiced motion. His cock stuck up between his shirttails, a bead of pre-come already shining on the tip. Sebastian stroked himself a few times, watching Kurt's reaction. "You like what you see, sweetheart?"

Kurt lifted an eyebrow as he looked, hopping down off of the counter. "It'll do," he quipped.

Sebastian's cock pulsed at the words. A smile broke across Kurt's face as he realized the implications. "You like it when I'm a bitch to you, huh?" he hissed, pushing Sebastian until he was sitting on the lid of the toilet, then straddling him.

Sebastian groaned. "Like I said, it's your loss, since it took us so long..." he trailed off, sounding entirely unconvincing in his protests.

"No, I saw it with my own eyes, your body reacts when I challenge you, even if your mouth has to sass back," Kurt purred, threading his fingers through Sebastian's hair and ignoring the rest of him.

"You're a very bad flight attendant," Sebastian groaned, watching as Kurt started sucking on his own fingers.

"Yes, very bad, tell me exactly how bad," Kurt whispered, reaching around to finger himself as he straddled Sebastian.

"That fucking mouth of yours, Kurt. You always have to have the last word. But I don't even care about the bullshit you're saying, because I could watch your lips move, and your tongue, all day long," Sebastian said, craning his neck around to try and watch Kurt's fingers.

"And what does it do to you when I tell you 'no'?" Kurt hissed, adding a second finger and stretching himself.

"It just makes me want you that much more," Sebastian gasped, finally sighing in relief when he managed to find an angle in the mirror that allowed him to watch what Kurt was doing. "Like right now, for instance, why don't you let me help you with that?"

"No," Kurt giggled. "Well, maybe a little. Open," he said, and suddenly three of Kurt's fingers, including the two that had just been inside of him, were forcing their way into Sebastian's mouth. Sebastian shut his eyes in bliss and sucked hard on Kurt's fingers, tasting him and coating them with spit. All too soon the fingers were gone, but Sebastian opened his eyes just in time to take in the sight of Kurt sliding all three into himself at once. Kurt bit his lip and his eyes fluttered shut in bliss as he enjoyed the feeling of being stretched.

"You have such a hot ass," Sebastian purred into Kurt's ear, smiling as the words made the man thrust into himself even faster. "Even though I wanted you to stay, I have to say that I enjoyed the view each and every time you ran away."

"And I made you want me more, didn't I?" Kurt's eyes opened again halfway, peeking through his lashes with as much coyness as he could muster with three of his own fingers stretching himself open.

"So much more. So much. God, please don't make me wait any longer," Sebastian moaned, tugging on Kurt's hips.

"All right!" Kurt announced, climbing off of Sebastian's lap and fishing around in his discarded pants until he pulled out a condom.

Sebastian blinked at the sudden turn of events, stroking his cock slowly. "You came prepared?" he asked, somewhat surprised.

"Please, I'm a male flight attendant. I might as well wear a button on my lapel that says 'Hi! I'm gay, and you'll never see me again!'. Picking up men is incredibly easy in this profession. Now, put this on," he said, tossing the condom to Sebastian.

Sebastian barely had time to slide the latex down his cock before Kurt was straddling his lap again, pressing his shoulders back against the wall and sliding down at an incredibly slow, controlled pace.

"You've done this before," Sebastian gasped as Kurt bottomed out on his lap. Kurt gave him an incredulous look in response.

"I didn't mean... I meant, here, in the airplane restroom," Sebastian stammered. "But you gave me such a goddamned hard time about how you couldn't, and you were working, and you'd get in trouble!"

"Because you were being an arrogant prick. You were rude and you wrote your number down on that credit card slip like I was some cheap tramp. Most of the guys I pick up can at least manage to be nice to me for a while. Tell me I have pretty eyes, things like that."

Sebastian bit his lip and groaned as Kurt swiveled his hips. "To be fair, your employer does run a pretty crappy ship," he said, his hips stuttering as he struggled to marshal his self-control.

"Hold still. You wanted a prissy, bossy bitch, now you have one," Kurt snapped, humor shining in his eyes.

Sebastian grabbed onto the the safety bar and braced his legs against the floor, deciding that it was worth it to let Kurt have his way from here on out. "Do your worst," he snarked, his eyes sparkling as he caught the expression on Kurt's face. It was a look that said, above all else, 'challenge accepted.'

Kurt leaned back on Sebastian's cock, bracing himself with the counter as he managed to stretch first one leg, then the other over Sebastian's shoulders, still bottomed out around him. "Support me with your arms," he gasped, folding forward and bracing his hands on Sebastian's knees. With the added support of his feet pressing against the wall behind them, he was able to start thrusting up and down on Sebastian's cock.

"Oh my god, you little slut," Sebastian gasped, "You could compete in the Mile High Club Olympics. As a fucking gymnast or something. I can't think with you doing that," he panted as Kurt moved.

"That explains the idiotic babbling," Kurt gasped. "Now pull yourself together and get back to the sexy talk, or just keep your mouth shut. You're distracting me."

"Can't have that," Sebastian groaned, biting his lip and digging his fingernails into Kurt's back.

A sudden bounce of turbulence jerked the men around, and one of Sebastian's hands left Kurt's back to scramble against the wall, finally finding purchase and steadying himself on a square placard with a large, round button attached to it. Uh oh.

Thankfully, the seat cover was closed, but the "whoosh" of the toilet being forcefully vacuum-flushed still rattled both boys, nearly knocking Kurt to the floor. Sebastian caught him, gasping against his chest as their hearts raced in time.

"You really haven't done this before, have you?" Kurt snarked.

"I never claimed to be a member of the Mile High club. Why do you think I was so determined to get you in here?" Sebastian replied, weakly.

"No, I actually meant sex," Kurt teased. Sebastian opened his mouth to protest, but immediately forgave Kurt as the man resumed thrusting.

"God, you're so good at this. It should be illegal," Sebastian said.

"I'm pretty sure it is," Kurt replied, biting his lip and grinding his hips tight against Sebastian's body.

"That's not what I... that mouth of yours. If I weren't busy fucking your ass, I'd be fucking your mouth just to shut you up."

"You aren't fucking my ass," Kurt hissed. "I'm fucking your prick." To prove his point, he lifted almost all of the way up off of Sebastian, and thrust back down again with all the force of gravity plus a bit of remaining turbulence.

"Ahhh," Sebastian gasped, "What are you trying to do, break me?"

"I tend to think you'd like that," Kurt whispered in his ear, biting down on the lobe hard enough to leave marks. "You seem to appreciate a challenge."

"You too," Sebastian huffed, "And it's about time I gave you one."

"What do you... eep," Kurt squeaked as Sebastian stood up and heaved Kurt onto the sink, folding him in half with his feet brushing against the ceiling of the small room. "Can't... ow... the faucet," Kurt gasped.

"Fine. Priss." Sebastian hauled Kurt up again, pressing him up against the door. "Better? Now shut the hell up so I can fuck you senseless," Sebastian growled, steadying himself on the wall as he pounded into Kurt's hole.

"Sebastian, ahhh, perfect," Kurt whined. "So close. Faster. I'm coming." Kurt clenched around Sebastian's dick as he toppled over the edge, biting into his shoulder aggressively.

"Bossy... bitch... can't... help... yourself... ugh." Sebastian grunted as he came, then shrieked as a moment later the door gave way and the two men fell to the floor, in full view of the blonde flight attendant, but thankfully out of sight of any other passengers.

"Um, Kurt, your break's over. By the way, I'm getting really tired of this shit," she said, pushing the cart past the two men and down the other aisle to collect the trays from the dinner service.

"That was..." Sebastian gasped.

"...eventful," Kurt finished, laughing and pulling off of him. He gathered up his pants, gingerly tugging them over his bruised ass and stretched thighs.

"So, how about that drink?" Sebastian grinned, zipping up his fly.

"It's still very much against the rules. And as you heard, my break's over." Kurt replied.

"Later, then? When we land?"

Kurt looked at him ruefully. "I have a rule about my Mile High fucks. They're all one night... well, one flight... stands."

Sebastian looked at him softly. "You and your rules," he said, all traces of arrogance finally gone from his voice.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't give me that look. Here." He pulled Sebastian's hand out towards him, and flicking open a pen from his pocket scribbled a number onto Sebastian's arm. "There, now will you get back to your seat and fasten your seat-belt like the pilot instructed, oh, forty-five minutes ago?"

Sebastian grinned. "Just as soon as you get me that scotch. Single malt, two cups, ice. Got it, priss?"


End file.
